Hi guys,
I hope you have been doing great since the last time you were here. Today’s post is sort of a follow up on my last post. I decided to write about this today because it is something I really struggle with myself and I am not writing because I now have all the answers but because I would like to share what I have learned so far and also get your input. So please please please don’t be shy to use the comment section, I need to hear from you.
All right, let’s jump right into it. In my last post, I mentioned that while I struggled with my personal and spiritual issues at the time, I could not bring myself to ask anyone for help or prayers or any form of support and this is in fact not a new phenomenon for me. This is something that I have done all my life and was to an extent a huge part of my relationship with others. I was always all right, even when I really wasn’t. Why did I keep things to myself? I honestly do not have one answer to that question, but here are some reasons that came up at different points in my life and I believe have come up in other people’s lives as well:
- Shyness; not brave enough to ask
- Reaching out means you have failed
- It’s a sign of weakness
- Cultural or environmental restrictions
- Self-reliance; I can figure it out on my own
- Don’t want to be a burden; they have their own issues
- The problem is too personal; who can I really trust?
- Pride; the foolishness that is pride
I had to make a conscious effort to correct my wrong perceptions and renewing my understanding of seeking help. My current response to some of the reasons listed above are;
Being shy only stops you from learning more,Value the help of others and understand that they are a support system rather than evidence of failure, Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it takes strength and wisdom to see the bigger picture and know when an extra hand would be beneficial,Do not allow the walls society and culture has placed around you to become a prison- it is all right to ask for help, it is all right to ask questions,You don’t have to do things on your own (Proverbs 15:22). Instead of seeing limitations in your skills or knowledge as a negative thing, see an opportunity to learn from others and improve,Understand the relationship you have with different people. Not every friend is a great adviser and not everyone that loves you is wise. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to the right people, and Don’t let your pride lead you to a place of irreparable damage. Let humility guide you or else shame will crumble you.
Now, because I believe the word of God is equipped with enough knowledge and guidance on every topic I’ll wrap up with some scriptural examples. Mary went to Elizabeth for help (Luke 1:39-56), Paul asked the Thessalonians to pray for him, Silas and Timothy (2 Thessalonians 3:1-5), I mean he really could have just said I’m Paul a bad guy, Jesus’ paddy, I can pray myself. My last example is King Rehoboam who sought counsel when the Israelites asked for lighter labour ( 1 Kings 12:1- 24). One thing his story highlights is the importance of asking and listening to the right people. The elders gave him advice that could potentially have led to a peaceful outcome (v 6-7), but King Rehoboam rejected this counsel and listened to the 'youngins' (v8- 14) which led to an unfavourable outcome for the house of David. I spoke to two people recently about my interest in orthopaedics as a possible career path and I got two completely different responses. One said, “oh that’s a very competitive and male-dominated field, so just keep your options open” and the other said, “I want you to know that you will be fine and you can make it, set your mind on your dream and work at it and you can achieve it”. The latter person went on to give me tips on preparing myself for the future. I’m sure I don’t need to say which advice had a positive impact on me. I can’t overemphasize the importance of asking the right people for help when you do ask for help.
Have you always found it easy to ask for help with things you could not handle on your own or are you like me and would rather try to reach the ends of the earth on your own to find answers rather than making a simple phone call? Irrespective of the category you fall in, I hope this has been a good read. I would also love to see your tips on overcoming this if you have been there before. Ultimately, ALWAYS depend on the wisdom of God. His word encourages us to ask Him for it if we lack it (James 1:5), He is always ready to help in your time of need (Psalm 46:1). Do not shut Him out, do not lock yourself in.
All righty guys I shall sign out now and I pray that you have an amazing week and that if you find yourself in any difficult situation this week that you will have the strength to ask for help and that the spirit of God will guide you to people who will uplift you and not pull you down. And most importantly that you will put your trust in God and not lean on just your own understanding.
Have a beautiful week.
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