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Writer's pictureMercy Itohan

Balance

Updated: Mar 23, 2022







There is so much going on in the world right now and we all have a range of things that currently occupy our 'life plate'. Sometimes those things can slowly creep out of our control and become a heap of concerns, troubling our mind because we cannot seem to find a balance.


What is balance? Here is a definition that I found on my Microsoft bing search that I think captures my thoughts perfectly.

An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

The weight could be anything that occupies your mind and your time on a daily basis. For me, this is work, church, family, personal and professional goals, rest, hobbies, shopping, cooking, even this blog and website and the list goes on. You may have a similar list or maybe yours is completely different from mine. But at the end of the day, one thing is certain, irrespective of the content or length of the list, balance is key to maintaining one's sanity.


So what can you do when your peace and sanity is threatened, when it all slowly or quickly becomes overwhelming?


Pause

Yes, pause! Take a moment and just step back. Sit down, stand up, find a comfortable position that will allow you to pause and think. Stop doing, stop running around and just pause. This is one of my best tricks at work when I feel overwhelmed with tasks and just need a way to recentre myself, I pause and re-evaluate.


Be realistic

It is important to come to terms with the fact that you can't do everything.

I am one to take on more than I can handle more times than I would like to admit; piling up task after task because why not? I love being active and keeping busy but one of the best lessons I have learned from having a full-time job is I have to be realistic with my choices. As I like to say, I have to choose my battles wisely and be sure to only accommodate what is important and necessary.


Prioritise and structure

You need to clearly map out your essential and non-essential tasks. What is an absolute necessity and what can wait a few days or weeks? If you are a list person like me, then make a list of these tasks and have an urgent and non-urgent pile. Then work your way through them in order of priority, you may even want to set up a structure on when to achieve your non-urgent tasks in order to stay on top of them. A handy thing I do is create to-do lists for different days and set reminders for tasks I have scheduled.



Ask for help

So what happens if you have weeded out as many unnecessary tasks as you can but find that you are still struggling to cope. Ask yourself, is there anything that someone can assist with?

I am honest about my diminished desire to ask for help when I need it and have written about it in the past. I push and push and push some more because I feel if I just give a little bit more, I'll be able to achieve my goal. But I am on a path to doing better and learning that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.

So if you feel overwhelmed, ask for help. Ask your friends, family, even colleagues when appropriate. You don't have to carry the burden alone.


Utilise the 'no'

When you have someone asking and pleading for your assistance it may be really difficult to pull the no card if you had to. But I want you to know that it is okay to say no when you are not in a position to say yes. Acknowledging that you do not have the ability to help does not make you a bad person or friend.

The last thing you want to do is take on another task and either not have the ability/time capacity to perform it, hence, disappointing the person or you perform it at a much lower standard than you should have or normally would have because you bit off more than you could chew.

Assess the situation, evaluate your capability and make a wise decision. You might hurt someone's feelings but you would be in a better situation than the ones I described above.


Rest

Sacrificing sleep is one of the most common recommendations for being successful. I agree to an extent. But here is my additional take, while you can train your body to eventually function effectively on fewer hours of sleep you have to realise the importance of rest especially in preventing exhaustion. Work hard but plan to have a fixed, uninterrupted period of rest every week. It could be half a day if you can afford to spare that time, one or two hours every day or whatever you can incorporate into your schedule.



Escape

Runaway from your problems......... hahaha, no please don't. That's not the escape I am referring to. I think it is important to have something relaxing that takes your mind off work, even if it is only for a short moment. Do something you love and can afford to squeeze into your busy life. It can be something that you are able to do on a daily basis, weekly or maybe monthly but take a moment to spoil or dare I say, reward yourself for your hard work.


Re-focus

Okay, you've had a rejuvenating time of rest and given your mind a little break by spoiling yourself with something you love, so what next? Re-focus! I find that after having a satisfactory period of rest I am usually able to re-focus myself on my tasks. I am able to improve old plans and make new ones because my mind is refreshed.

Remember it is also easy to lose track of your plans if you do not get back on track. You can so easily lose the balance you have created by failing to establish a steady pattern that is not truncated by your 'rest' and 'escape'.



Pray

This comes last on my list not because it is the least important but because it, in fact, is the most important. Pray always, do not wait till it all boils over. Pray when you think you have it under control and pray when you feel overwhelmed. I have found peace, strength, wisdom and direction in the place of prayer and you can too.


There will always be things to do and very little time to achieve them especially if you are an ambitious person but I hope that if you are in an overwhelming place that you will find the right balance that allows you to not just live a performative life filled with tasks and tick box activities but one where you feel fulfilled on a daily basis.


I pray that you receive strength and wisdom to effectively balance the different aspects of your life. You are not overwhelmed, you are not discouraged. You are focused and have the peace of God. You know the right steps to take and receive wisdom to make the right decisions.


Love


M.I

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